Nicholas's Story
By Judy D
"The greatest privilege a woman can have is to be a mother." That quote hangs on the wall in front of my desk at work. I have no idea who the author is but I found it with a Mary Engelbreit drawing years ago and held on to it. I am a pediatric nurse practitioner and have been for 15 years. As of September 22nd, 2003, I am also a single mom. My career and my love of children had me well-prepared to be a mother, but nothing could prepare me for my journey through adoption. After turning 35, I was tired of waiting to meet that special man and start a family. I decided to do it on my own and I have since never regretted that decision. I remember entering the first WHFC meeting, full of questions, wonder, and with plans to adopt a baby girl from Korea or China. By the end of the meeting, I had learned single parents could not adopt from Korea and China had a huge waiting list for singles. I couldn’t bear to wait 1 year never mind 3. That is when I discovered Guatemala. I could not have a gender preference but it soon became less important than I initially thought. The following year was a roller coaster of emotions with Guatemala closing for a few months, endless paperwork, fingerprinting, etc. Meanwhile, I saw babies every day at work and longed for my own.
On September 22nd, 2003, I received the call that every adoptive parent lives for. I had a baby boy!!!! He was just 3 weeks old, healthy and living in a wonderful foster home. I shook with excitement, cried tears of joy and literally ran screaming outside to any neighbor I saw that I was a mom to a baby boy. Yes, it would take months to bring him home, but from that day on, I fell in love with that baby and we were a family.
Six months later, after sending many care packages and exhausted from sleepless nights, I traveled to Guatemala to bring Nicholas home. Nicholas, or Niko as he is often called, was beautiful and perfect. He stared at me when his foster mother placed him in my arms but never cried. My arms had waited so long to hold him, I don’t remember ever feeling any greater joy than in that moment. The attorney and her staff were warm and welcoming and I could not have asked for a sweeter, more loving foster mother. It was a wonderful experience.
Now, three years later, Niko is 4 years old and our family consists of the two of us and one pug. Niko is absolute joy and being a single mom really is not that difficult. There are times when sickness sets in and you wish for an extra hand or the financial stability of two incomes, but there is also the benefit of being the only rule-maker, the one to witness every milestone, and the opportunity to be the center of a child’s universe, even if just for a little while. I love the fact that my home is filled with trains and my refrigerator is covered with artwork. I love Saturday movie nights watching Toy Story, sharing a big bowl of popcorn, and digging large holes in the sand at the beach. And most of all, on my desk at work, I love having all those pictures of a little boy who is like me in so many ways, I know we were destined to be together. And lastly, as I kiss him good night at the end of every day, I realize what a true privilege it is to be a mother.