Emily's Story
By Emily C
I love being the oldest of four children. I reign supreme in the family photo albums. Most likely there is a stash of wisps from my first hair cut, my first lost tooth, and my first pair of ballet shoes. Cute as they may have been at the time, I hope my parents held back on the toenail clippings. What I enjoy most about being the oldest is that I have been able to contribute to the lives of my siblings. I have barely missed a beat. Right off the airplane to the kitchen table, I have been there to help my parents form our family.
The responsibilities of the oldest are endless, and I have faced challenges unique to being adopted. For a long time I believed it was my responsibility to protect my siblings from what I have encountered. I was the first to field the question from my peers about why I didn’t look like my mom. I was the first to feel the burn of not fitting in because of my almond-shaped eyes. I was the first to be asked, "Do you want to find your real parents?" (Buddy, my real parents already found me!) But, I have realized that I cannot protect them from questions and looks. All I can do is show them that communication within our family is open and honest.
Each and every adoptee has a different perspective on being adopted. There is something to be said for being able to share your thoughts with others who share that bond of being adopted. Strength in numbers! I hope I have been there for my siblings when they needed me. We do not often broach the subject of adoption. But I have poked and prodded from time to time, to let them know I am interested. I want them to know that I am willing to talk about being adopted if they want.
I credit my parents for the peace I have with being adopted. My parents have always said that they are the lucky ones. This notion has kept my head high when strangers and friends have told me that I am so lucky that my parents “took in” foreign children. I always smile and say, “I know. They are amazing people.” In my head I am thinking, “Two martyrs on deck!” After 24 years, I have come to the conclusion that there is no luck involved. There is no rhyme or reason for family feuds at the dinner table, pig piles on the couch, or the shared love of volleyball. Our family was simply meant to be.