Rose's Story
By Rebecca B
WHEN THE DOUBTS AND THE WONDERING ENDED
My family began considering adoption as an alternative way to have an additional child in our household after all other options available to us were deemed impractical and close to impossible. Though we spent a considerable amount of time learning about adoption, and though we believed we completely embraced it, there was always doubt about the merit of adopting, especially an older child.
- How will my other children react to this new child?
- What kind of personality does she have? Her attitude, likes and dislikes?
- Will she be happy in our household?
- Will she be a problem child?
The list continues, but after analyzing the pros and cons of adoption, it always ended in favor of adoption.
Once we were informed that a child had been chosen for us we were excited, until medical issues arose. We again began doubting whether we should proceed. However, despite the lingering doubts, we proceeded with the adoption.
Finally, I went to the Philippines to pick up Rose, who arrived in New York in April of 2004. Her arrival marked the beginning of problems and issues that we had not anticipated, including:
- Hoarding food
- Making up stories and lying to make her look like a victim (especially in school)
- Tantrums and other behavior problems
- Lack of respect for her elders (One time she told my husband to sshh sshh because she could not hear what she was watching on TV)
- Constant arguments about doing homework (she constantly asked why she had to do homework when she did not have to do it before)
Every day was a struggle for all of us, so that many times we questioned the wisdom of proceeding with finalizing the adoption. Rose also had many commending attributes, such as her eagerness to please, when she likes it (dancing and singing), her sweetness (she likes to give hugs and kiss), etc. But despite these things, the doubts and the wondering continued.
Had we ever stopped wondering if adopting Rose was a mistake?
It has been over 3 years now that Rose has been in our family, and I can say that Rose has fully acclimated herself into our household. The Rose that we have now is a 10-year-old happy child who loves to sing and dance, but she is also a more responsible, helpful child who is doing great in school. She has great relationships with her older sister and brother and has many friends. She is also enjoying her new environment since we left New York City and moved to Pennsylvania. She is a joy to have and we are very proud of her accomplishments at home and in school.
We could clearly state that at this point, adopting Rose was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. Finally, the doubts and the wondering are over.