Supporting the Family of Origin

January 2008

In an ideal world, placing a child for adoption would be an option but not the only choice for birth parents needing to find alternatives during a difficult time in their lives. Just fifty or more years ago most unmarried pregnant women in the U.S. had few realistic choices but to relinquish their baby for adoption. The term “birth parent” was the unofficial label given to anyone considering an adoption plan since the great majority of those who looked into the option of relinquishing their child, did so. In addition to the feelings of loss, most who gave up their child were left with a life-long legacy of secrets, guilt and anger. Post-relinquishment counseling was not readily available and families were not encouraged to deal with the emotional trauma of losing a child, grandchild, niece, nephew, sister or brother.

Over time, things have changed a great deal in our country. Today, national statistics show that at least half of all expectant parents who consider an adoption plan make the decision to raise their child. Both public and private organizations in every state have developed programs that provide financial and educational support to those who want to keep their child. Those who do end up making a plan for adoption have made a well- considered choice and do not feel ready or able to take on the responsibility of parenthood. Their children will be able to look back and know that the best possible decision was made for their future.

Unfortunately, expectant parents in many countries do not have the same options that now exist in the U.S. Poverty, illness and cultural values play a significant role in the lives of those considering relinquishment of a child. Few, if any, options are available to those who are impoverished or have a serious illness. Extended families often try to help, but many of them do not have resources to support another child.

The preservation of families in poor countries is becoming an increasingly important issue for governments and those who are connected to adoption. Both public and private non-profit organizations are attempting to build humanitarian aid programs that assist families economically, medically and educationally. Many wonderful child-related U.S. charities support these programs. This is not an anti-adoption plan. To the contrary, it is a position to support the family of origin so that those who do relinquish a child do so as a choice, rather then as an act of desperation. Ultimately, this serves to strengthen the process of adoption.

Adoption should be a decision made willingly by birth parents who understand all the options available to them and still want their child to be adopted. While it may take a village to raise a child, it takes the dedication of public and private organizations to support programs that help create choices for parents everywhere.

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