In this issue...

Online Presentations

Talking With Children About Adoption

Ask the Expert

Traveling with children

Parent Education

What's All This About Attachment?

Adoption Lifebooks

Adoption in the Media

Movie Commentary: Meet the Robinsons

Book Review: Adoption Parenting

Upcoming Happenings

Regional Events

Build a Bear Workshop Promotion

Stay Connected!

Join our list and opt-in to continue receiving periodic updates such as this one.

Did you know...

...that you can get a FREE adoption e-newsletter from about.com? Informative and well written articles about adoption will be sent right to you. Everything from new research and attachment activities to family fun and craft ideas!

...that WHFC has a Post Adoption Social Worker in every regional office?

...a new study published in the American Sociological Review found that adoptive parents are more educated and informed about parenting?

Post Adoption Support & Education Edition

Spring 2007

WELCOME!

Welcome to Wide Horizon’s "On the Horizon" Post Adoption e-newsletter, part of WHFC's ongoing commitment to children and families and the recognition of adoption as a life-long process. Our Post Adoption Team hopes this new way of staying in touch with you will keep you up-to-date on the events at Wide Horizons, learn about upcoming educational opportunities and celebrations, as well as provide support through articles and resources.

Please give us your feedback, ideas for upcoming newsletters and sign up on our e-list so you will continue to receive information about events as well as future e-newsletters. We look forward to staying connected!

TALKING WITH CHILDREN ABOUT ADOPTION: Basic Guidelines

Conversations that parents and children have regarding adoption are important throughout the adoptee’s life. Different ages bring about a variety of discussion points. Some valuable advice to follow includes the following:

• Begin when your child comes home
• Keep conversations developmentally appropriate
• Create an environment where the opportunity to talk about adoption is frequent
• Be honest - think about what you can say vs. what you can't say
• Share difficult information by the time they leave home. Do it under your "umbrella" of support and supervision
• Teach children how to cope with difficult emotions in general

Participate in an Online Presentation

WHFC is pleased to offer an online web conference for parents on "Talking With Your Child About Adoption." Members of WHFC's Post Adoption Support & Education clinical team will review the key pointers for success with this topic. You will have the opportunity to explore how your own views on adoption impact your child’s view of him/herself. Learn how to create an atmosphere of support, trust and compassion with your child regarding his/her unique adoption story. Relaying difficult information, talking with children who avoid adoption conversations and discussions regarding birthparents will be a part of this presentation. Please bring questions! Participation in this web conference requires a computer with an internet connection and a separate telephone line.

Upcoming dates:

• Thursday, June 7, 12:00 PM Eastern time
• Wednesday, June 13, 6:30 PM Eastern time

Register now for this informative session!

Top

ASK THE EXPERT: Travel question to consider

WHFC Social Worker, Deb Shrier, responds to a commonly asked question about bringing an older child when traveling to bring a newly adopted child home.

My husband and I are planning to adopt from China. We are undecided as to whether or not to bring our 4-year-old daughter (also adopted from China) with us on the trip. I am concerned about the long flight as well as the busy schedule we will have once we are there. Any recommendations?

Adoption is an event that affects the entire family and it is wonderful that you are taking some time to consider whether to bring your older daughter. As her parents, only you can make the decision.

There are a few issues that you and your husband might want to consider before your decision is made:

1. age and maturity of the child you are planning to bring
2. response to change, transitions and stress
3. how to attend to needs of the child you are adopting, while parenting your 4 year old daughter
4. child's own understanding of his or her adoption story

Read the rest of Deb's response to this question at www.whfc.org.

Top

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT ATTACHMENT?

One of the most frequently asked questions from parents who have adopted child(ren) or are considering building their family through adoption involves attachment. It appears to be the hot topic on websites, chat rooms or adoption discussion groups. Attachment is the ongoing relationship between parent and child. As explained in the book Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search of Self (Brodzinsky, D., Schechter, M., Henig, R., 1992), attachment "is something that grows slowly, over weeks, months, even years of loving interaction." Some adoptive parents will report that they felt an immediate attachment to their child; others will state that their attachment was slower to develop. Children, whether joining their family through birth or adoption, also bring their personal history to the attachment process.

Useful resources on this topic include:

• www.adoptivefamilies.com
• www.adoption.about.com
• www.pactadopt.org
• Adoption Parenting, edited by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae, PhD

Top

ADOPTION LIFEBOOKS

Adoption Lifebooks are being created by many families as a way of telling a child's story — what is known of the child's origins and how she or he came to be available for adoption. WHFC social worker Barb Drotos provides answers to some of the most common questions that adoptive parents have about these valuable tools.

What is a Lifebook?

• A book that stores memories, history, hopes and dreams
• It documents the past, present and future
• It is different than a photo album or scrapbook for a number of reasons, as it documents a child's past, present, and future

Who should create it?

• Parents/caregivers and children together, sometimes with the "coaching" of a professional (social worker/ therapist)

Read more questions and answers about Adoption Lifebooks at www.whfc.org.

Top

MOVIE COMMENTARY: MEET THE ROBINSONS

Dear WHFC Family,

We feel that it is important to warn you about a Disney movie called "Meet the Robinsons" that is now playing in many local cinemas. The advertising for this animated feature makes it sound like a great movie for any young child, but this is misleading. Fortunately, one of our adoptive parents alerted us about the negative adoption messages in the story and the very unhappy experience she had with both of her children who were greatly disturbed by the messages conveyed in this film. As a result, I went to see the film to decide if it warranted putting out an alert to our adoptive parent community. Indeed, I thought the concerns raised were completely justified.

Read Vicki Peterson's full commentary at www.whfc.org

Top

BOOK REVIEW

Adoption Parenting
Edited by Jen MacLeod and Sheena Macrea, PhD
Review written by Pat Hoopes, MSW, LICSW

At last! A comprehensive, easy to read book on parenting your adopted child, from birth through pre-adolescence.

Before Adoption Parenting came along, adoptive parents had to amass numerous books and publications to find answers to their many questions. Adoption Parenting is practically a one-stop reading for adoptive parents. It is truly the first of its kind in the breadth of subject matter it covers. It includes daily aspects of parenting such as sleeping, feeding and limit setting, in addition to the more frequently covered topics such as attachment and bonding. In addition, it is endlessly useful in providing resources for more information.

Adoption Parenting is written by birth parents, adoptive parents, adopted persons and professionals, many of whom are themselves members of the adoption triad. Each presents the gifts and challenges in adoption parenting from their own point of view while acknowledging that there are many ways to view these complex subjects.

This book really is a "must have" in each adoptive family home! For more information or to order a copy, go to the publisher at EMKPress.com or www.amazon.com.

Top

REGIONAL EVENTS

Wide Horizons For Children offers picnics and other family-oriented social events throughout our regions to give families an opportunity to meet and get to know families like their own. These exciting events give adoptive families an opportunity to sample their child's birth culture and network with other families. Watch our website and future e-newsletters for details about our new Latin America Culture Camp to be held this fall!

Upcoming Events

Recent Events

The 6th Annual China Culture Camp was held at Marlborough High School on Saturday, March 3, 2007 and it turned out to be a huge success! For the second year in a row this event was co-hosted by Wide Horizons for Children (WHFC) and Families with China from Children-New England (FCC-NE). Over 325 people joined together to share their experiences and learn more about the Chinese culture. Families from China 1 through China 135 were in attendance!!!

Read more details and see photos from this event at www.whfc.org.

Top

STUFFED WITH HUGS: HUGS SWEET HUGS!

Join us for Build-A-Bear's STUFFED WITH HUGS: HUGS SWEET HUGS campaign! We encourage families across the country to celebrate adoption and help children in need by going to their local Build-A-Bear Workshop on Saturday, May 19th and making a bear for FREE! The bears made will be donated to children across the country and around the world who are in need of a family! View the flyer for more details.

Top