Book Review - Beneath The Mask

By Deb Shrier, MSW, LCSW

Browse the shelves of any bookstore and you will find a growing number of titles which are geared towards helping bewildered parents maneuver themselves through the maze of the most challenging developmental stage in life: their child's adolescence. There are suggestions for ways to engage teens, set limits, keep them motivated and find ways to take time out while parenting. There may be a chapter or section on the adopted teenager, with limited resources and a page or two on loss. Although parents (of biological or adopted teens) recognize this developmental stage as a time filled with identity issues, greater need to understand self as well as healthy separation/individuation, the adopted teen faces other twists which center on their ultimate sense of self. What part does adoption play at this critical period?

Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens approaches the experience of the adopted person during adolescence realistically and with great sensitivity. Authors Debbie Riley, M.S., and John Meeks, M.D., outline important observations that they have compiled in their clinical work with children in foster and adoptive families. Since their practice focuses specifically on this population, Riley and Meeks have been able to identify unique issues and offer their informative perspectives. What they have learned is highlighted by case studies and relevant research which is understandable to layperson as well as clinicians.

Some of the most compelling concepts explored in this book center on loss, grief and the need for a solid understanding of one's own adoption story. For clinicians working with adopted teens, a young person's accurate understanding of their story is as critically important as is the way it had been shared with him/her. The book outlines assessment tools, suggested clinical interventions and appropriate adoption resources. The authors offer ways for clinician to better understand the experiences that have led up to this point in their client's life.

For parents, normalizing the adopted teen's challenge of identity during adolescence is reassuring, if not valuable. Adoptive parents are often needed to help their child fill in the blanks, highlight the strengths, offer support and guidance while their child makes sense of his/her personal history. Often, greater detail of an adoption story helps to deepen the understanding of why an adoption plan had been made in the first place. Riley and Meeks also offer additional highlights for parents which include how to give your child permission to explore their adoption, understanding that adoption is filled with joy and pain, and learning to recognize the six common "stuck spots" for adopted teens.

This is a worthwhile addition to your collection of books on adoption.

Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens
Written by Debbie Riley, MS, and John Meeks, MD
Published in 2005 by C.A.S.E. Publications

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