Questions to Ask Caretakers and Birth Families
Questions for Caretakers
- What is my child's schedule for eating, sleeping, etc.?
- Have there been any medical concerns? Any hospitalizations?
- How would you describe his/her personality?
- Are there foods he/she particularly likes or dislikes?
- If my child goes to school, how does he/she do? Do you have any school papers I can have?
- How did he/she come to live here? What was he/she like when he/she first came?
- What language did he/she speak?
- Do you know of any birth family?
- Are there things he/she is scared of? How is he/she comforted?
- How does he/she do with other children?
- Are there any sleep concerns?
- Is there a caretaker or child that my child is particularly attached to? Can I interview that caregiver about my child?
- Has my child's birth family visited here since my child arrived?
Questions for Birth Families
- Are there things that you would like to know about us?
- What are your hopes, dreams for your child?
- What do you want him/her to be told about your decision to make an adoption plan for him/her?
- How would you describe his/her personality?
- What are his/her favorite foods?
- Where did my child sleep? (Take pictures!)
- Are there extended family members? Where do they live? What are their names?
- Do you remember when he/she first walked. talked, etc.?
- What is he/she afraid of? How do you comfort him/her?
- What are/were the birth parent names? Names and ages of siblings?
- How did the parents meet?
- Where was the child born? In a hospital, at home?
- How was his/her name chosen?
- What does the child understand about why an adoption plan is being made?
- Are there family stories or memories of the child that you could pass on?
- Is there something of the family's that the child could take with them?
- Does the family have any pictures of other family members, birth parents or the child at an earlier age? (Consider taking a photograph of the pictures so that you are not taking what might be the family's only pictures.)
- Do you have a birth certificate?
- What are your hopes around future contact? Does the family have an address? A phone?
- What is the family's ethnic background?
- What is the family's religious background?
- What time of day was the child born?
- Has the child ever been treated at a hospital or clinic? How has his/her health been?
- Who was present when he/she was born?
- What are the family members' ages?
- Who else lives in the home?
- Does my child have a nickname?
- Is there a family member that my child resembles physically or personality wise? How would the family describe their own personalities? Do they have special talents or interests?
- What did the birth family do for work?
- Did the child attend school? If so, where and for how long? How did they do in school?
- Are there children that my child is friends with? Who are they? (Can you get a picture?)
- If birth parents have died, what were they like? What were their names? How would their personalities be described? Did they know their child? If so, what were their interactions like?
Take lots of pictures and try to bring a video camera to capture as much of the meeting as possible. Take pictures of the landscape, community and neighborhood. If possible, have individual members of the birth family record a message for your child that you can share when they are older. Are there mementos from the area your child is from that you can bring back for them? Some families like to buy gifts for their children for future birthdays from their child's birth country, e.g., a piece of jewelry for the 18th birthday, etc.