Adoption Lifebooks

By Barb Drotos, MSW, LCSW

Adoption Lifebooks are being created by many families as a way of telling a child's story - what is known of the child's origins and how she or he came to be available for adoption. Here are answers to some of the most common questions that adoptive parents have about these valuable tools.

What is a lifebook?

• A book that stores memories, history, hopes and dreams
• It documents the past, present and future
• It is different than a photo album or scrapbook for anumber of reasons, as it documents a child's past, present, and future

Who should create it?

• Parents/caregivers and children together, sometimes with the "coaching" of a professional (social worker/ therapist)

Why do a lifebook?

• Helps children understand their history prior to adoption
• Helps children and families integrate a child's heritage and birth family culture into their lives
• It gives children a visual and tangible document that represents their life
• Helps with a child's identity issues at any stage of childhood development or young adulthood
• It can facilitate helathy attachment if parents and children work on it together

When is the best time to create a lifebook?

• There is no real "best" time, although starting early is generally best
• Parents can begin prior to placement by including documents and sentiments related to the waiting process
• It is never "too late" to start a lifebook with a child. Adoptees can even create them in adulthood!

Is it best to start with past, present or future?

• All three should become a part of the book, but begin where it seems "safest" for the child. For very young children, start with the waiting process, prenatal information and then, the birth. For children who are toddlers and older, begin where thay are safest, emotionally. Often , the present is a wonderful place to start. Document the surroundings and activities of daily life as is. Then move backwards to a child's roots, or forward to hopes and dreams.

What should go into a lifebook?

• There are so many items that can go into a lifebook. Every book is individual and unique! Some suggestions include:
  • Prenatal history of birth mother and ultrasound photos
  • Photo of hospital where child was born
  • Photo of orphanage or foster home
  • Letters from foster parents, previous caregivers, or orphanage directors
  • Letter from social worker
  • Pieces of the child's medical records/ note from doctor or nurse
  • Lock of child's hair as an infant or young child
  • Child's hopes and dreams
  • Child's drawings
  • Child's signature at different ages
  • Lists of favorite things
  • List of favorite or "cute" expressions that the child makes
  • Funny behaviors
  • Siblings' letters
  • Footprints, handprints
  • Family tree, birth and/or adoptive
  • Photos of current surroundings; home, yard, bedroom, family members
  • Photos of surroundings at time of placement
  • Names and contact information of all previous caregivers
  • Name and information regarding adoption/ placement agencies
  • Photo of social worker and agency
  • Future hopes and dreams ("what I want to be when I grow up" statements)
  • Report cards
  • Letters from teachers
  • List of favorite school times/ activities
  • Favorite friends and relatives — photos, comments
  • Anything else you can think of that represents an aspect of your child's life

What should a lifebook look like?

• Lifebooks can be simple or elaborate. A simple, economical way to make one is to use a photo album that has a three or five ring binder. You can decorate the cover or just label the album. In using this type of album, you can add/ subtract pages easily over time. With the rise in scrapbooking as a hobby, there are now a wide variety of materials available in craft and specialty stores. Scrapbook materials, including the albums, can make beautiful lifebooks. Materials collected for the lifebook can be displayed in very creative ways.