Language Proves No Barrier to Motherhood

New Hampshire Union Leader, June 2005

Kali Gallagher is her own ode of joy.

Her eyes flash as she gestures to her new mother, Beth, with her tiny piano-fingered hands. She points back to herself, shakes her fingers again and reaches for a tall glass of water.

The hand movement is her way of saying no. When she pats her chest with an open palm, she means her, Kali. Typical of any 3½-year old, she's letting her mother know she wants to do it herself.

And, typical of any mom, Beth Gallagher knows what her daughter is saying even though Kali's been with her and her husband, Brian, less than eight weeks

Even though Kali - short for Kalkidan - is from Ethiopia and neither parents nor child speak the other's language.

Kali's mother tongue is Amharic. When she met her adopted parents on March 30, she knew her ABCs and how to count to 20. The Gallaghers could say a few things in Amharic. For the most part, the new family had to pantomime to communicate.

But every day, Beth Gallagher says, her daughter comes up with another English word or phrase that surprises her. And the fact that Beth gets it amazes her husband.

"She's very bright, very social. I'm not sure why but I can understand her," Beth Gallagher says. "Brian will say, how do you know that. Part of it is expression. I knew that, since we didn't speak the same language, we'd have to rely on tone and expression. And part of it is - I don't know, I just understand."

Maybe it's because the expressions of this little girl are simply joyful. She is playful and happy. Her eyes are electric.

In the short time since she has been in New Hampshire, since April 9, her vocabulary has increased. Big bug, she says to her mother, pointing across the room. When Gallagher looks, Kali covers her mouth with both hands and laughs with her eyes.

"She's done really well. It's unbelievable how adaptable she is," Gallagher says. Of the experience, she adds, "Grateful doesn't begin to cover it."

What is equally unbelievable for the Stratham couple is they are finally parents. Years of hoping and not succeeding to have a biological child led the couple to Wide Horizons for Children in Waltham, Mass. The agency is one of only four that the Ethiopian government works with to place orphaned or abandoned children.

In many cases, the children are given away because the families can no longer care for them. Thirty years of waging war and an AIDS crisis of staggering proportions has contributed to crippling poverty.

"All these things combined have resulted in millions of orphans," says Debbie Mansfield, program manager for the agency's Ethiopian adoptions. "Most of the kids are orphaned because of disease."

Sadly, the Ethiopian government will not allow children who are HIV-positive to be adopted despite the fact that they likely would then be able to receive the treatment they need to survive, Mansfield says.

Of the kids who are given up, she says, "These kids have been through a lot of grief but not a lot of trauma or neglect. They haven't spent five years living in an orphanage. Usually they live with extended families until the family can't care for them anymore. Then, poverty is often the reason they are relinquished."

Wide Horizons is licensed throughout New England and New Jersey. In the 30 years they've been in the adoption business, they have placed more than 8,000 children from all over the world, including China, Korea, India and the Ukraine.

The agency has only been working in Africa since October 2003. Since then they've found 70 homes for Ethiopian children. Eight families with 12 kids total are in New Hampshire, places like Bedford, Derry and New Boston.

"People always think the demographics are too tricky," Mansfield says of matching Granite State parents with African children. "But we've had a lot of interest in people from New Hampshire, Vermont. It really shows the openness of America."

Brian Gallagher admits worrying about the race differences and how his new daughter might be treated in her adopted country.

"My major concern was the whole cultural thing, Ethiopia and New Hampshire, would, in small environments - at a restaurant, the grocery store - that they might be uncomfortable for her," Gallagher says. "But there hasn't been one instance in six weeks. In fact, almost the opposite of what I feared has happened."

He and his wife speculate part of it has to do with Kali and her contagious smile. Beth Gallagher describes the Ethiopian culture as loving, affectionate and calls it the cradle of humanity. Kali, she says, is the product of the African nature's generous spirit.

Says Brian Gallagher, "She was brought up with so much love, it's almost like she knew what was coming and so it's easy for her to give."

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