Ethiopian Kids Preserve Culture in Play Groups

The Narragansett Times, February 9, 2007

South Kingstown - When Troy and Marianne Davis traveled to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia last month to meet their adopted four-month-old baby, Myah, for the first time they prepared themselves through research and talking with other parents of adopted Ethiopian children but much uncertainty remained before their eight-day trip.

"It's tough if you're not prepared for it," Troy said last Friday at a recent "playgroup" meeting for more than a half dozen children from the impoverished country who have been adopted by Rhode Island families over the past few years. "It was bittersweet."

The Westerly couple traveled with nine other families from the United States to the Ethiopian capital on Jan. 14 to one of the two Wide Horizons orphanages located in the breathtaking mountainous country.

Wide Horizons For Children is a Mass.-based non-profit, full-service adoption organization that was founded in 1974 and has placed almost 9,000 children from China, Latin America, Eastern Europe and Africa with families in the U.S.

During their visit, the Davises said they were taken aback by not only the extreme poverty that exists in what is often referred to as "the cradle of humanity," but also with the benevolence of every single native they encountered.

"We would be walking down the street and people would come right up to us and bless us," recalled Troy.

Karleen Todisco, new mother to recently-adopted eleven-month-old Sidonie, echoed the exact sentiments when recalling her experience visiting the country this past November.

"It was emotionally amazing," she said, adding that the only downside was the 30-hour trip home. "Nothing prepares you for the emotions of the trip. It changes your life."

Todisco and the Davises are the newest members of a rapidly growing group of R.I. families who have adopted Ethiopian children.

The group meets several times a month for the children to play and for parents to talk about their unique and individual experiences of starting a multicultural family.

With Ethiopian-style coffee wafting through the air and the pitter-patter and laughter of the children filling Pam Santos' spacious house on Post Road in Wakefield, the families welcomed the newcomers last Friday morning.

It was Dec. 11 of 2004 when Pam and her husband Eugene first returned from Ethiopia with the newest addition to their family, Elijah, now two-and-a-half years old.

The couple, who have three biological children of their own, were no strangers to the adoption process after adopting an African American child from Texas, Carter, who is now three-and-a-half years old.

At the time the Santos were only the second family in R.I. who had adopted a child from Ethiopia.

"It opened up our eyes to the plight of Africa and opened up our eyes to what we as Americans can do," said Pam.

Ethiopia is a country that is rich in culture and history, but also one that has been decimated by poverty, war, drought nd disease.

Humanitarian aid organizations estimate that one million Ethiopian children have been orphaned by AIDS.

According to the Executive Director of External Affairs for Wide Horizons, Vicki Peterson, the organization has placed close to 300 children from the country since 2003, and provides sponsorship assistance to more than 400 children still awaiting placement.

"Our first year we placed 20 children, the second year placed 50 or 60, and this year we placed 160," said Peterson in a phone interview from her Waltham, Mass. office on Wednesday.

The average cost for adopting a child is approximately $18,000.

She said that Wide Horizons was contacted in 2002 by Dr. Behre Tsegaye, who had worked in Ethiopia's child welfare system for nearly 30 years.

Dr. Tsegaye inquired into establishing a program for his country, and after a year of discussion and travel between the two countries by both groups the program was set up in 2003.

Peterson said she has heard of several different families who have established similar playgroups and she praised the benefits ot offers to both the parents and the children.

"We see this all the time that parents with children from the same country are getting together," she said. "Down the road it is a great way tp give them a connection to their heritage and an important piece of their background."

Talking with parents who have gone through the adoption process is the best way for people interested in adopting to educate themselves, said Peterson.

"We have so many families that have gone through the process that we are able to let them do the talking. We're here to enable people to go through the process very smoothly."

Some of the events the children have recently attended include a traditional Ethiopia coffeee ceremony performed by an Ethiopian woman from Boston who is part of the Ethiopian Women's Alliance, a traditional drum lesson, and a "timket" ceremony.

Timket is the Ethiopian Orthodox Christian celebration of the Epiphany, which is held on Jan. 19 and is considered the greatest festival of the year.

Eugenie Janat, who adopted brothers Tsegaye, 3, and Bereket, 6, in May of 2005, said that oftentimes because the children are still so young, they will just get together at someone's home or go on a field trip to the zoo or museum.

She said that the special cultural events they attend allow them to stay connected to their heritage.

"The connection is so vital to all of us," said the Westerly resident, who organizes the R.I. Ethiopian families group and is aiming to start up the Adoption Family Network of Greater Westerly.

She said that the mothers xxx without the children to not only relax but to "just talk about our experiences."

All the families have discussed a group trip back to Ethiopia when the children grow older because there is a huge store of memories and family members there.

It is not unusual for the adoptive parents to meet the birth relatives of the children they have adopted when they travel to Addis Ababa.

The Davises and Todiscos were all able to meet with their adopted children's families during their trips.

"Sidonie's family walked 23 kilometers to meet with us," said Karleen Todisco.

Although some might expect mild resentment from the families who are giving up their children, both couples said that they were welcomed with open arms and thanked for their generosity.

,p>"Children are treasured over there and education is a huge thing," said Troy Davis, who added that he videotaped Myah being held by her birth mother when he was visiting.

Although their group is currently comprised of parents who have already adopted children, Pam Santos said that anyone who is curious about adopting a child is welcome to attend their gatherings.

"We are all so happy that the kids have been healthy, happy kids and when they get together it is something to watch."

For more information about the R.I. Ethiopian family group contact Eugenie Janat at janat@riconnect.com.

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