Prestons of Shrewsbury find their own family in China

Worcester Telegram and Gazette, August 23, 2006

There were over 24,000 children adopted from abroad in 2004, according to Sen. Mary L. Landrieu of Louisiana, with the largest number adopted by U.S. citizens having been from Asia. 7,033 were from China; 708 from South Korea and 709 from Vietnam.

One couple who adopted two girls from China with the help of Wide Horizons for Children, Inc. of Waltham are Joanne and Bruce Preston of Shrewsbury.

It took them about five years to finally decide that adoption was right for them.

After studying and visiting various agencies, the Prestons chose Wide Horizons because of its experience in international adoptions.

The couple first looked to adopt domestically, then thought Russia would work.

But after doing more research, they decided on China. "This seemed to work for us as older parents," Mr. Preston said. "And we were gratified that the Chinese culture respects maturity, so that would not be an issue."

The couple went to many different educational and informational conferences on various topics on international and domestic adoptions, such as how to deal with being a new parent and how to deal with a trans-racial family. "These were things we never thought of before."

They placed their application and began building their dossier of information about themselves, which would eventually end up in China.

"You have to go through a complete and thorough background check to be sure you have no criminal record anywhere," Mrs. Preston said.

Letters of reference, a biographical sketch and full financial disclosures were part of the package. "They want to be sure that your are equipped, mentally, physically, emotionally and financially to care for these children," she said. "Until you get the referral (picture of the child), it's sort of unreal."

After notarizing, certifying, authenticating and translating the entire dossier into Chinese and bringing it to the Chinese embassy in New York City, the Prestons waited — for more than a year after they were "logged in."

During the waiting period the Prestons found that they were not alone. People from Norway, Germany, Spain, Italy, Australia and other countries, about 15,000 at any one time, are also waiting — and communicating with one another in Yahoo newsgroups on the Internet.

Through the Internet, everyone finds out what their number is and watches to see who's next in line because the Chinese government processes the dossiers in the order in which they were received.

"We enjoyed that part of the process because it allowed us to get ready to become parents for the first time," Mr. Preston said. "We also found one of our best friends who came back with their first child. We got together with them for dim sum in Chinatown in Boston. And meeting their child made it real and special for us."

Once the adoptive parents get "the call," usually arrangements are made through Wide Horizons and you travel with a group of other adoptive parents.

Wide Horizons has people in China who accompany you through the process, Mr. Preston said, so it's not that stressful at all.

"While some people want to get to a country and get out, we really immersed ourselves into the Chinese culture. You first meet in Beijing and you see the sights such as the Summer Palace, the Great Wall and other places for a few days. Then people scatter to where their child is located."

Their daughter Laurie had been cared for by foster parents in a home atmosphere.

"When we met Laurie, she had a handmade dress with a sewn patch that said 'Hello Kitty,' a backpack with the face of a dog on it and inside were her favorite fruit jells and three pictures of her and her foster family at different national parks in China. So you knew this was special," Mrs. Preston said.

And wherever Laurie and her new parents went, people would come up to them and say "Lucky Baby," because they knew that she would have a much better life outside of China.

In fact, most children adopted from China are girls that are abandoned.

Because China has a policy of only two children per couple, with one being a male who will carry on the family name and, according to custom, be expected to take care of the parents when they are older.

"If your first child was a girl, you were allowed to try for a boy," Mr. Preston said. "But if a second child is a girl, that child is often abandoned, so a couple could then try again for a boy."

"Abandonment happens in different ways," he continued. "Usually the mother will find a public place, so that the baby will be found quickly. Oftentimes a baby is abandoned at a train station or a police station."

"In our case, our first daughter was abandoned outside of the main gate at a children's hospital. And our second child was abandoned at the gates of an orphanage in December in a climate similar to Boston."

"But mothers do attempt to place them somewhere where they will be found."

Although abandonment is technically a crime in China if a mother is identified, the authorities do not send them to jail. Rather, they take away their salary for a year, Mrs. Preston said. "So mothers go to great lengths not to leave any identification with the child that could be traced back to them."

Final processing in China happens at the United States embassy in Guanjo, where the children become U.S. citizens.

A legal formality called a re-adoption is held about a year later. For Hayley, her re-adoption took place last week before a Worcester judge.

"That allows her to get a passport, social security card and to have all of the priveleges of American citizenship, so there is no question in the future," Mr. Preston said.

When the Prestons returned to China for Hayley, they brough Laurie with them. "We wanted her to have that experience and know that she was there when she met Hayley in China and to let Hayley know that her sister was there when they first met," Mr. Preston said.

"And that's another amazing thing about adoption, we don't give it a second thought, these are our daughters. They are not someone else's daughters."

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