China Reunion

By Jennifer D

Neighborhood games of "Capture the Flag" at dusk. Whole days of riding bikes through the neighborhood. Family vacations at "the lake." The ice cream truck. Playing in the stream. Those are the things which make up my memories of childhood summers. My children already look forward to many of those same things. And they have one amazing addition. China Reunion.

When we left Boston in early May 2002 to fly to China to adopt our elder daughter Emma, we knew we were about to add one child to our family. What we didn't know is that we were also about to add 21 other children (20 girls and 1 boy) and 30 plus adults to our extended family. Our travel group - China 95 - has proven to have a tight bond that has remained strong over the years.

Each August we gather for a 3 day/ 4 night reunion weekend. For the past several years we have used a resort on the shores of Lake Winnipesauke in New Hampshire. It is a location that allows for planned activities and casual play and visiting. One thing that has made these reunions so successful is that the adults enjoy themselves as much as the kids. I am honestly not sure who is more excited about the reunion each year - myself and my husband or our children.

This year will be our seventh annual reunion. Over the years we have developed a bit of a reunion tradition. It includes group dinners, crafts, games, plenty of time for play and visiting, and a movie night and ice cream social. We periodically have a theme - last year was the Olympics in honor of China being the host country. I expect that each of the kids has their own favorite part, as I know I have mine. One is simply the joy of watching our daughters and son reconnect and pick up where they left off the previous year. Some of the kids get together periodically throughout the year. They might see one another around Chinese New year or China Culture Camp. But it doesn't seem to matter if the haven't. China Reunion is all about reconnecting with our "China Friends" as my daughters call them. And the group has been wonderful about welcoming new siblings. This has become more of a family reunion than a travel group reunion.

My second favorite part is my own reconnection with the other Moms and Dads. I love to hear all the stories from the past year, to compare notes on adjustment, behavior, school, to laugh about both the hard stuff and the funny stuff, and to be completely at ease with a group of parents who know all the ins and outs of some of the unique parenting issues in adoption. It is a given that you can always find a group of parents gathering after the kids have gone to bed. There are almost always a few very tired parents the next morning on the beach because we have stayed up too late.

Our younger daughter, Meghan was also adopted from China. Her travel group, China 110 is equally well united. They too have an annual weekend long reunion. Unfortunately, we have not been able to attend that reunion more than once due to scheduling problems of our own. But it is reassuring to know that when we are able to get reconnected, Meghan too has her "China Friends." Until then, she, without question, fits into the China 95 Reunion and is as much a part of that group as the other children.

I have often wondered why it is that our groups and reunions have clicked so well. There are a few things that come to mind. Commitment. The commitment of all these families to maintain a connection for their children and for themselves. Consistency. With the China 95 reunion, I know that it has become important to always have this reunion on the same weekend. And for the children, the consistency of having certain activities makes it extra special for them. Consistency of place feels important too. Leadership. In the case of both China 95 and China 110 there is at least one parent, if not a core group of parents, who take on the responsibility for coordinating the reunion. Having been one of those parents for a number of years, I can tell you it is a commitment! But one with huge rewards. Fun. I don't have any doubt that even with all the other pieces in place, if our kids and all the parents were not having a ball together, the reunions would gradually cease.

What do the kids have to say? "It is special because all the kids came home from China with me." "My favorite part is getting together with all our friends." "Having friends from China is very, very special to me." For me, what sums it up is the child who says "I have 20 sisters and 1 brother."