My Direct Sign from God

By Maria

When my husband Carl and I married 16 years ago the one thing we did not agree on was how many children we wanted. Carl wanted 6 and I wanted 3, two boys and a girl. Our advice from others was "have one child and then decide how many you want".

I was unable to get pregnant and after hearing our options Carl and I knew our goal was to have a child, not a pregnancy. In 1994, we connected with Wide Horizons and Sarah Mraz*. Eleven months later, we brought our precious son, Eric, home from Guatemala.

The years passed quickly. Eric filled our days with happiness and our nights with much interrupted sleep. We were truly blessed! At age 5, Eric said he wanted a brother, and Carl and I wanted another child. We began the process to adopt again. We had had a positive, professional experience with Wide Horizons and contacted them. We selected Guatemala once more because Eric was loved and well cared for by his foster mother and attorney, Anna Maria and her family.

During the adoption process we were asked if we would consider a sibling group. Carl and I agreed if Eric would remain the oldest. Since Eric was only 5 years old, we were told the sibling groups would most likely be older and the odds of adopting twins were greater than adopting a young sibling group. We dismissed the thought of siblings since it likely would not happen.

Carl called me at work and told me he received a call from Wide Horizons. He said they have a young sibling group in Guatemala; a three-year old boy, and an 18 month old girl age. "Very funny" I said, thinking he was playing a joke. "No, Maria, I am serious" and serious he was. I was speechless.

Carl and I talked about the challenges we might face because the children were older. Would we be good parents if the children were abused, abandoned, or had behavioral issues? What if they had attachment problems? Since they were siblings would they love and accept Eric? How would Eric bond with two siblings?

All the information we received from Wide Horizons indicated the children were happy and well adjusted. Sarah Mraz and Mary Morales** were supportive and understanding of our concerns.

Carl and I also prayed for guidance. I told Carl I thought we needed to pray for a "direct sign" from God. The next day we called the agency and were told the children's names were Christopher and Maria Alejandra (called Allie). Again I was speechless. When Eric was a baby we watched Peter Rabbit and I loved the name Christopher Robin. I was named Maria after my grandmother. I had received my direct sign from God.

We were told that Christopher and Allie had a birth sibling, Mariah, about 5 months old. She had been adopted by a family in Massachusetts. My initial feelings were of compassion and empathy for the birth mother. How did a 23-year old single woman cope with relinquishing her three children ages 3, 18 months and 5 months and what could her life possibly have been like?

Carl and I knew immediately we wanted to be in contact with this family and have the children grow up knowing each other.

Carl, Eric and I flew to Guatemala to bring home Christopher and Allie. Chris spoke fluent Spanish and attached to me instantly. Allie was quiet and very sweet. All my fears were put to rest after 5 minutes. Eric played with his new brother and sister. Carl and I talked to the foster mother while we watched our beautiful "forever family" playing together like they knew each other their entire life. It was also a sweet reunion for Eric who was able to visit with his foster mother, Rosita, who cared for him in Guatemala during his first 7 months.

Several months after we arrived home from Guatemala, we received a call from Annemarie and Terri, Justin and Mariah, the family from Massachusetts. I felt an instant connection to Annemarie. We had so much in common I felt like she could be my sister.

During the following year, we exchanged photos of the children and lengthy phone calls. We all grew to know and love one another. About one year later they invited us to vacation with them in Culebra, Puerto Rico.

Our week long stay in Culebra is one of my fondest memories. Carl and I were nervous and excited. Eric and Justin connected immediately. Although Christopher never met his birth sister, Mariah, he was very "brotherly" and protective of her. We also discovered that Allie and Mariah have identical voices. Many times Mariah would call "Mommy" and I would respond thinking it was Allie. The children played naturally together. What amazed me was how natural this blending of two families seemed to be.

Annemarie and Terri, Justin and Mariah are now a part of our extended family. We visited them in Massachusetts this past summer and they will visit us in October. We made a commitment to see each other three to four times a year.

Carl, Annemarie, Terri and I all agree to always answer our children's questions with honestly and love. We realize that as the children grow so will their questions. We focus on the positives of adoption and talk openly about the losses. At this time Eric, Christopher and Allie think of Justin as their brother and Mariah their sister. It warmed my heart when Christopher said "Mom, if Mariah is my sister, can Justin be my brother?"

Carl and I feel completely blessed to have our children and Annemarie and Terri's family in our life. I do not want to give the impression that we don't have our challenges. Christopher was 4 year he arrived home and Allie was 2. They have experienced a good deal of loss, change and uncertainly. Although Christopher attached to me instantly (which was concerning) he did not like Carl. He would look him in the eyes and say "I don't like you". Carl was totally patient and understanding and would respond, "Well, Christopher, Daddy loves you". Allie also, looked sad for quite some time. Carl and I spend quality time with the kids. We go swimming, play ball, read to them and wrestle. We made a conscious effort to be more patient and more understanding. Both Chris and Allie are in play therapy, a therapy where children use play as a way to work through issues. This is helping them deal with their losses and the transition.

Today our children are typical siblings. Christopher and Allie adore Eric; and Eric is a typical big brother. Our kids love Justin and Mariah, who are now daily names in our household. We have their pictures all around and frequently hear "when are we going to see our brother and sister again?"

Our families have given new meaning to a "forever family". Although Carl and I are originally from New York, the military brought us to Mississippi for a while. Presently Annemarie and Terri's family is the Northern branch of the family and we are the Southern Branch. Carl and I plan to relocate in the next few years, closer to the family we grew up with, and closer to the Northern branch of our family.

* Sarah Mraz is International Program Director at WHFC
** Mary Morales is a former Guatemala Program Coordinator

Top