Waiting For Each Other

By Linda R.

My journey with adoption began with a fourth grade project. All of the students were required to write an autobiography and project what our lives would be like in 15 years. I recall writing, "I will be married, I will be a teacher and have two children, a boy and a girl, adopted of course." Little did I realize that so many years later, there were two children in the Philippines waiting to bring to life the story I had imagined so many years ago.

I still clearly remember attending a general information meeting at Wide Horizons For Children to learn more about international adoption. We had so many questions. WOuld we request a baby, did we prefer a girl or a boy, would we consider an older child, or perhaps even siblings? What about waiting children? How would we make our choice?

The decision became a process of considering many factors. We weighed the pros and cons of an infant versus an older child; we thought about whether or not we were able to consider older siblings and what it would be like to have an instant family with multiple children. We thought about the differences in age between ourselves and the children, and whether we would both need to work or not. In the end we decided that we would like to adopt a sibling group of 2 or 3 children, ranging in ages from infant to 7 years. We would consider waiting children as well. Then preparations and our own waiting began.

One of the ways that I prepared myself for the wait was to think about how my life would change with the arrival of multiple children, and what I hoped my relationship with them would be like. Thoughts would often occur while completing projects around the house. I remember one day, as I was putting a fresh coat of paint on the back door, I was thinking about our decision to adopt older and/or waiting children and realized, "Our children are already born and living somewhere in the world, just waiting for their forever family. I don't know who they are or where they are, but they are."

Something changed in me at that moment. Being an ordained minister, my first response was to pray for the children, whoever they are and wherever they are, so we did. Another thought was to begin a journal to record my thoughts about my hopes for our family, which I will one day share with our children. Something I realized was that parents are not the only ones who wait to have a family; children have hopes and dreams for a forever family too. As I kept the journal at home, I wondered about the hopes and dreams of our waiting children. What were their favorite colors, would they like the things I like, such as reading and art, or would their interests be different than mine? As much as my husband and I wanted to have children, there were children in the world wanting just as much to have parents.

Our waiting children, Estela and Edgar, have been home from the Philippines for over two years, and have recently been joined by younger brother Joshua. Hopes and dreams are shared frequently at our house these days. Our daughter tells me almost daily what she hopes to do when she grows up, and our son has announced his plans to marry one of his preschool friends. Again, time will tell, but for now, it is wonderful to share our dreams together as a family. We no longer wait to be a family, but now wait with great anticipation to see who our family will become.

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