You Love Me Ever, Ever, Ever

The following is an excerpt from a holiday letter received by Mary Lou Eshelman, the WHFC Philippines program coordinator. The excerpt highlights a single parent's story about motherhood and the arrival of her daughter at age 7 from the Philippines.

Dear Mary Lou,
It has been a wonderful, whirlwind year for Tiki and me. She turned 8 years old on November 7 and we had her adoption "finalization" in court on November 17. Explaining the word or idea of adoption to an 8 year old is difficult, even when she is expressing it herself. So leading up to the "adoption day" I was trying all kinds of ways to convey the permanence of her new relationship with me. WHen the day had finally come and gone, I asked her what it meant and she said, "You love me ever, ever, ever." That about sums it up, I thought. She is smart and funny, and above all, loving. I always thought that all the stories adoptive parents write about feeling as if the child they adopted was "a perfect match" and "meant to be" etc., were a little hokey, but if you ever wonder if it takes genes to be madly in love with your child, I can tell you it does not.

I have been trying for many months to put into words the feelings I have about being a mom. I don't think I have really succeeded yet in being able to explain it but a part of it is this: It is as if I have always been a mom. Not that I have always wanted to be a mom, but that somehow I was separated from my child, or the child was absent. Now that Tiki is home, it feels like "There! Now it is obvious to everyone else what I have always known: I am a mom." The other day I ran into a good friend of mine and her college-age daughter who I do not know very well. A few days later, my friend remarked that her daughter said later, "There is something different about Barb; like she is whole now."

Thank you for making all of this possible!
Love,
Barb D.

Top