Mahalet's Story

By Paul and Jenine S

One of the great things about the Ethiopia program is the effort the workers there make to connect adopting families with birth relatives. My wife, Jenine, and I looked forward to meeting our 4-year-old daughter's aunt, but we were surprised at the profound effect it had on us.

Mahalet's aunt walked into the sitting room of the orphanage living quarters, carrying Mahalet. She was solemn and to me looked very old, and she had a cross tattooed on her forehead. Jenine and I each held her hand and kissed her three times on the cheek, the Ethiopian custom. She said she was very happy that Mahalet was going with us. She gave us three photos of Mahalet and a black and white photo of her mother, who was beautiful. We learned she wanted to bring Mahalet to see her grandmother, who is ill but wanted to bless her before she left. We walked out of the compound, down the alley to the street. It seemed like everyone was eyeing us.

The aunt carried Mahalet most of the way to the grandmother's house. I was worried that Mahalet would decide to stay with them. But once in the grandmother's house, she sat on Jenine's lap and called her mommy.

A block down from the orphanage we turned into another small street that was paved with large flat gray stones. For part of the way, the sewer flowed open alongside. We went into a small courtyard. The fence was lined with live bamboo outside. The grandmother was sitting in a chair wrapped in shawls. In comparison, her daughter no longer looked old. The grandmother kissed each of us three times and we sat on her bed. The aunt tisked and made us stand up so she could remove the plastic sheeting. The social worker explained that the roof leaked when it rained. The grandmother showed us that she was paralyzed on her right side. She picked up her right hand with her left and let it drop into her lap. Her eyes were rheumy and her hair straggly and gray. She was missing several teeth. A couple of neighbor women came in to give Mahalet a hug. Then her cousin, who was 15 and handsome, the son of the aunt, arrived. He quickly shook our hands and stood to the side as he watched us with curiosity. The grandmother blessed us and after seeing the photos we brought, of Mahalet and the rest of our family and our house, she blessed the house. I thought she was crying. She put the palm of her hand on the ground and chanted softly. The interpreter said, "When Mahalet goes with you, she will be imbued." I interpreted it to mean that Mahalet would be imbued, or filled with blessings.

The walls of their house were corrugated sheet metal supported by sticks the width of my wrist, stripped of their bark. Pictures of Jesus and Mary were on the wall, along with a small woven carrying basket with a red and yellow design. The room was probably 10 by 10. Behind a curtain was storage for pots and the like. A small charcoal stove sat next to the bed, with a pot of rice next to it. Mahalet asked for rice - she thought it was injera, the Ethiopian staple bread, but the aunt said the grandmother didn't eat injera, just rice. The aunt got out a small blue container that looked like the top to a plastic box. She explained it was Mahalet's dish.

She filled it with rice and Mahalet smiled as she ate it. Jenine told everyone that Mahalet DID have lunch, just in case anyone thought we hadn't fed her.

It was time to go. The grandmother thanked us and blessed us again. We kissed three times. She was crying. I put down the video camera and hugged her. She reached for Jenine's hand and kissed her. The aunt kissed us and leaned down and kissed the inside of my right knee. She did the same to Jenine. We said good-bye and took photos with the neighbors and the aunt and cousin outside, then walked down the little lane. The aunt walked halfway then waved. When we were almost to the main street, Mahalet's cousin called out: "Mahli! Ciao!" He smiled and stopped. We walked on and around the corner.

Jenine and I often think about Mahalet's family. I am sure they think of her often too, and wonder about the life she is leading now. She is very healthy and seems very happy. She attends a lot of basketball games played by her brother and sister, loves Play-Doh and puzzles and her Cinderella video. We hope she will start nursery school soon, and we have talked about someday taking her back to Ethiopia to see her birth family and where she was raised.

Top