Nicki's Smile

By Tanya M.

I turned 40 in February of 2000. I had been thinking about adoption for many years and decided it was time to get started. Over several years, I had checked into many methods of domestic adoption but found that international adoption was my best chance as a single woman to adopt a young, healthy child. In June of 2001, I went to an informational meeting at WHFC. I was impressed with the statistics and reputation of WHFC and also the organization of their presentation.

I knew right away I would go to Russia. My father's family came from Russia and our family has always been proud of our Russian name. I handed in my autobiography in September and received a call from my social worker, Maryanne Ludwig, to set up our first meeting. I was scared to death of the "Home Study" and was sure I would be rejected for all sorts of reasons. After all, I'm older, overweight, single, and living with and overseeing the care of my 90-year-old great uncle. However, after the first meeting with Maryanne, I knew I was on my way to adopting a child.

Then the paperwork began. The notary at the bank, the people at the state notary office, the helpers at Kinkos (for copies) and Marina Senderovich (WHFC Russia Program Assistant) became my best friends. On January 25th my "dossier" was officially sent in. On February 20th, Maryanne called and "20 month old boy in Siberia" was all I heard. I called everyone I knew and told them - "I have a boy!" They all said - "Siberia"?? Over the next several weeks I received more information about my son; he was 18 months old and 22 pounds. Then came the wait.

The next weeks were the hardest part of the whole process. The weekends felt so long because I knew I wouldn't hear anything. During the week I would go nowhere before 5 PM as I anxiously waited for the phone to ring. On Monday April 15th, Marina called me at work and said "You're leaving on Saturday April 20th, one trip, returning May 1st." Since my parents live in Philadelphia, I called them immediately and asked them to get to my house by morning. My dad would be traveling with me and my mom would come stay with my uncle and be the checkpoint for calls from friends and family. They went into motion, packed the car and traveled overnight to be with me in Boston on Tuesday morning. We had 4 days to get visas, tickets and pack, but we were full of excitement.

We arrived in Kemerovo, Siberia at 5 AM on Monday. By 4 PM, I was in the orphanage director's office, holding Nicholas in my arms. In the small office with me were the director, the inspector, Nadia (WHFC's coordinator), a nurse who cared for Nicholas, and my father; however, I barely heard anyone talking around me. I was holding my son in my arms for the first time and I was scared to death. He didn't cry or struggle, but was determined not to look at me. He diverted his eyes away from me no matter which way I held him. All of a sudden, the director called Nicholas' name and he leaned back to look at her and gave her a big happy smile. I relaxed and knew I would love this child and he would eventually smile when I called his name. We visited Nicholas for five days, for two hours each day. It was a wonderful experience and soon Nicholas started to get excited to see us. On the third day, I opened my backpack to give cookies to all the children. Nicholas came over and protested my sharing his things. When my dad picked up another child, Nicholas scrambled out of my arms, ran to my father and reached up to be held. I knew then it was going to be okay when we took Nicholas home with us.

Nicholas has been home since May 1st. He is more wonderful than anything I ever imagined. He loves life, and I love life with him! His favorite things are riding in the car, swimming, swinging, books, cars, and trucks. He loves to eat and tries new things eagerly. We are on our fourth pair of shoes since he has been home, as his feet just keep growing! Each day, Nicholas surprises me with new words - this week he surprised me with a toddler's rendition of "I Love You" and a kiss. And now, when I call his name, he turns his head and gives me a big happy smile. I love that smile!