Ukraine Angels

By Susan and John S.

When John and I planned to get married, we knew that there would be children in our lives. When we realized that biological children were not meant to be, adoption was a natural choice for us. Our plan was to adopt one child, but becoming parents was the most amazing thing that ever happened to us, and we recently became blessed with a second Ukranian angel! Here is our story:

After a lengthy and disappointing course of infertility treatments, we began our search for an adoption agency to help us realize our dream of becoming parents. We felt very comfortable with Wide Horizons from the first informational meeting that we attended, and we began the process of adoption in early 2001. We hadn't really decided what country we wanted to adopt from so our social worker, Wendy Norton, helped us choose a program that "fit" our family. She went over each program in detail and we discussed which ones might be best for us. My husband, John, is of Polish descent and we liked the idea of taking part in the process of being matched with our child, so the Ukraine program seemed like a great choice. At the time, it was also a fast moving program and that certainly appealed to us! After meeting with Kim Bernstein and Erica Pelaccia, who manage the Ukraine program for Wide Horizons, we were sure that our child would come from Ukraine. And so the paperwork began!

Our first adoption moved very quickly. Wendy was a huge help and came to be a part of our "family". The Ukraine program coordinators helped us with the specific paperwork, and tried to prepare us as best as they could for the journey we were about to embark on! We attended pre-adoption meetings, received travel packets, and were well informed prior to our trip. We left for Ukraine on November 17, 2001; less than 9 months after we submitted our application to WHFC. We were told that the process might be difficult, but I don't think that either of us envisioned what lay ahead of us. The process at that time was a little different than it is currently.

Our first few days in Ukraine were very difficult. We were initially presented with children that were either much older or had more involved medical needs than we were able to accept. It was heart breaking saying "no" to these children, and very discouraging as we began to feel that our adoption plans from Ukraine were not going to work out. We agreed to visit another orphanage in Simferopol. As we were in the director's office all the stress and disappointment overwhelmed me and I burst into tears. Natasha, our interpreter, said "Don't cry, he has good news"! He had one more child to show us, we were told, a 25 month old boy. As he entered the room, we both had tears in our eyes! We knew he would be our son! We met Cameron on November 27, 2001, and had our court date on December 7. At one point, Natasha said to us: "You will come back in a few years to get a girl." We only laughed and told her THAT wouldn't happen! Because he was "healthy", with no major health issues, the judge opted not to waive the 30 day appeal period. We were heartbroken to leave without our son, but returned home on December 7. The Christmas holiday lengthened our wait, and we returned to Ukraine on January 13, 2002, picked up our son on January 15, flew to Poland to get his visa on January 17, and were home on January 19! We have never once questioned our decision to go "outside" the age we originally requested. We had never been parents before, so the tremendous love we felt for this child was unimaginable to us! Cameron was a dream come true, and we know it was always meant to be.

As Cameron got older he talked about having a brother or sister, but we didn't think it would be possible. In July of 2003, we sold our house in Massachusetts and moved to Arizona. As we settled into our new home, we realized how much it would mean to Cam, and to our entire family, to have another child. Our son has made such an impact on our lives, and we love him more than we ever dreamed possible, so it only made sense that we return to Ukraine for another child. On April 14, 2004, we sent a second application to WHFC. ALthough we had a difficult trip the first time, we were thrilled with the support and assistance that WHFC offered us and were delighted that they would work with our family again, "long distance", so to speak!

We submitted our dossier to WHFC on July 29, 2004, requesting a child of either gender from 18 to 36 months of age. Our main objective was to keep the birth order in our family, and Cameron was 4 years old at that time. In early February of 2005 we received our letter from the National Adoption Center with an appointment date of March 23. We made plans to leave our son with family in MA and, after a tearful goodbye, we left for Ukraine on March 20. Our appointment went well and Sergey, our attorney in Ukraine, found us a referral for a "healthy" 4 year old girl. Once again, we found ourselves going outside of our requested age group! She was 1.5 years younger than Cameron, so we were happy. When we asked what region she was from, we were quite shocked to learn she was in Simferopol, the same region that our son was from! Natasha was right - we were coming back for a daughter! As we walked into the orphanage, we were overwhelmed by feelings of expectation, gratitude, and "déjà vu"! She was even in the same room where our son had lived 3 years before. We met Natalya on March 25 and the adoption paperwork was initiated the same day. We worked with the same interpreter, orphanage director, lawyers, etc. as we did on our first adoption - it was truly an amazing experience! We went to court on April 11 and the judge waived the 30 day appeal period - we were able to take our daughter home with us! On the same day, we traveled to get Natalya's birth certificate. She was born in Bahchisaray so, ironically, our last day in Crimea was spent in the same place as our first day there three years before. There were so many coincidences, that we had to feel right about this adoption! Our first week was very traumatic for all of us. Natalya clung to John and wanted very little to do with me. She cried a lot and asked to go home. It was heartbreaking, knowing that she was so sad. As if she knew I needed some reassurance, Erica called us in Kiev, 2 days after we took custody of Natalya. She assured me that this was normal adjustment behavior for an older child, and that we shouldn't question that we had made the right decision. Again, she must have read our minds!

As I write this, Natalya has been part of our family for just 2 weeks. I can't believe she's the same child. Of course, we're still adjusting, and the language barrier is difficult, but she smiles all the time, chases her brother around the house, scolds the dog, and is constantly yelling "Mama" and "Papa"! As our interpreter told us, we are "so lucky again" and "God loves us." Cameron told us that "he always wanted a sister like Natalya"! Now our family is truly complete.

We knew that adopting a 4 year old child would offer us a totally new set of challenges, but we were ready for it! My best advice for families adopting from Ukraine is "Go with the flow"! Things may not always go as planned, and you may find yourself faced with different challenges than you anticipated, but the rewards are tremendous! We thank all of our friends at WHFC for their assistance, support, perseverance, and continued devotion to making families happen!

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