Our Boy: A Family’s China Adoption Story
When my husband and I decided to grow our family through adoption, my preference, of course, was for a girl. I thought it would be so much better for our daughter to have a sister, because I know how close my sisters and I were growing up.
A Blessing in Disguise
We already had two daughters who needed us and required so much of our time. Jordan had just turned 7 and Spencer was only 4. How could we possibly take on a child with a special need?
A Family of Four, Finally
...after going over her referral with our pediatrician and an international adoption medical specialist, we sent in our letter of intent to adopt Niyu who was three years old at the time with a diagnosis of a delayed intelligence development. Her language development was behind by one year.
A Mother's Reflection on Attachment
It has also taken me a long time to realize that attachment is truly a lifelong process. As adults, we work on attachment every day without even thinking about it: shared cups of coffee, shopping trips, Christmas dinners, phone calls, letters, email all strengthen our bonds with parents, siblings and friends.
A Year Ago
A year ago today, Mike and I were in Yekaterinburg, Russia making our way to Kamensk-Uralsky to see a little boy. The uncertainty of that trip and all the emotions are still vivid in my memory.
Becoming a Transracial Family: A Work In Progress
All I need to do to know that my husband and I have a lot of work ahead of us as transracial adoptive parents is to look at the magazines lined up at the check-out counter of our grocery store.
Bringing Home My Waiting Child
I couldn't believe my ears when Joy, the local guide who'd met us at the Nanning airport, said we'd be meeting my daughter in three hours. "I thought it was tomorrow!"
Good Night... (please!)
It took some time, but here's what we now know: while the research and expert advice may help, we, as parents, need to figure out what is best for our families while learning from our children. They tell us what they need... all we need to do is pay attention while they teach us.
Inspirations In Life
Shortly after Kaitlin arrived we came to the realization that it was us, not Kaitlin, who had "special needs".
Looking Beyond Racism
Within our family there is no majority. We are all a spectrum of light to dark. I am the most pale. Then Diego, my oldest son, born in Guatemala is nearly as pale as I am. My husband and my younger son, Tony, are each brown and tan. My husband has Filipino heritage and this creates a great bond for my darker son.
Talk about an instant family! My husband and I signed up to adopt TWO siblings and wound up with FOUR!
Our Adoption Journey
While we are not a conspicuous family, because we decided not to change our children's names, we often get questions from both ends of the spectrum. I gather some may assume our son's name was something we made up, but I am quick to let them know it does have meaning.
The Laughing Boy Under the Table
In retrospect, the very thing that we had most dreaded, meeting Adugna's family and extended relatives, turned out to be the most enriching experience of our trip.
The Mao-Han Story
I thought of all the problems Mao-Han would have, of all the stares from strangers he would endure, and all the difficulties he would encounter as he went through life.
The Promises We Keep
The last time Greg was in this airport, he was an infant leaving on a Filipino passport with John and me, his new parents. Visiting the Philippines has been an urgent need for our son Greg for as long as I can remember.
Thoughts On Our Beginnings
I had been reminding myself all week that parenting is not about the parent. It is about the child. About daily giving to him or her, without guarantee of reciprocation, a pure and selfless love.
Trail of Clues
Jessica was adopted when she was three-and-a-half and we knew she'd had few opportunities to speak Chinese in her foundling home. So our initial reaction to what we were being told was to say, "She's only been with us for one year. Give her a break!"
Two Makes a Family
I really wanted to adopt a child from the U.S., but could I handle that? Now I can't imagine not knowing the birth mom.
When I Was Young in Awassa
When I was young in Awasa my mom got very ill. She stayed inside and stayed in bed feeling very ill.